I’m not much for retrospectives, but things feel differently now. Happier. Comfortable. Safer. Stabler.
2011 was a rough year for me. Shuffling from home to home. Unsure of where I was going to end or who I would be with. Cutting ties with family members. Getting my heart broken - and no, I don’t mean romantically. I lost my sense of safety. My home. Pieces of my identity. My will.
Yet, somehow everything has turned around.
I’ve managed to stay on track with the resolutions I started - noted, I said started. Some never got off the ground and I’m okay with that. I refuse to see that as some kind of failure.
I haven’t fallen behind on any work for this semester. I tend to stay ahead in my English classes because I love reading so much, but everything else falls by the wayside. So far, I’m on track and focused and pushing my way through some difficult classes.
A website I write for launched a new site. It’s been hard to keep up with writing for it while in school, but I’ve done it so far. It’s a great feeling. Quite the sense of accomplishment. And I’ve met so many incredible people by sticking with it.
I’m still with the same lovely boy I met last fall. He’s been quite the surprise. Kind. Sweet. Intelligent. Smart. Hilarious. Thoughtful. All the things I was so sure I had in the past with other guys. He’s not only shown me I was wrong, but that I deserved better and settled for less and wasn’t treated the best. I’m not afraid. Not worried or stressed. Not uncomfortable or uneasy about the future.
I’m just happy and that’s been a great feeling to have.
